Things to do/Rules to follow before Plastic Surgery

 

1. Take a shower and wash every crevice you think you have and then do it again in case you missed a spot.
2. Shave EVERYTHING that needs shaving and wax the rest. Assume everyone in the entire office will see your naked ass.
3. Color your hair prior to surgery because you can’t do it for (in some cases) 2 weeks later.
4. Get your nails and toes done because no one wants to look at your funky nails or toes.
5. Tan a day or two before surgery so when you come out of surgery, even though you will look like shit, at least you have tan.
6. Pack the night before-minimal stuff needed. Robe slippers, toiletries, pillow, computer, & drugs.
7. Get snacks and drinks that will settle your stomach in case anesthesia makes you puke your brains out, then take your dumbass over to your pills and take the one that stops vomiting.
8. Ask for help getting up and getting back into bed even though the drugs that have kicked in tell you that you are fine and don’t need help. You will regret it when you fall down and bust a stitch or worse.
9. Follow all doctors’ orders before and after surgery-including leaving all bandages on until nurses remove them or tell you to remove them no matter how bad you want to see what it all looks like-trust me-at first it ain’t pretty.
10. If something goes wrong because you failed to follow rule #9 you only have your dumbass to blame.